wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
