Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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