And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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