he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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