Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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