so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
