What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
