You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All the doctor said was why
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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