I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
