First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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