and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
