I am puke
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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