What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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