: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
