the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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