if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
