She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
