Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
