Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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