I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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