Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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