so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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