drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
