Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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