Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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