I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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