There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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