i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
