You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
