Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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