NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
