guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
