wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
why does every cop we meet know your name?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize