I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't deserve a penis
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
