I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
