Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
