ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
