he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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