She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
