Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
