put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
