If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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