there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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