You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You are the jesus of drinking
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
