I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!