No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
