And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She's like a pop up book from hell.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?