I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
