Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
