Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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