lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason