Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory