yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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