could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
