last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
