Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
