I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
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