you guys were way drunker than both of me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
