Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
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I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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