think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
