I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize