I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
